


Exchange

by somebodysangel



Series: Skyeyes and Ocean Eyes [7]
Category: Sea Patrol (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, ET is learning to be subtle, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Nav is not subtle, Pre-Relationship, Swain Knows, hat swap fanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 12:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16325840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somebodysangel/pseuds/somebodysangel
Summary: Nav arranges things so she and ET can talk about this thing between them; ET proves he's learning about this subtlety thing. Takes place during 2.04 Heaven Born Captains.





	Exchange

“Hey Nav, you joining us at the pub?” Buffer asked as Nav exited the ship’s office, Charge and Spider at his side.

She shook her head, pasting a rueful smile on her face. “Sorry guys, I’m behind on my paperwork.”

Bomber came up behind her. “What, you’re giving up a free night to do paperwork?”

“Perils of being an officer, I don’t get to skive off like you lot.” Nav smiled at them cheekily and waved her hands to usher them out.

“Okay, but you owe us a round next leave,” Buffer pointed at her, then followed the others out the door.

She exhaled, grateful that they hadn’t prodded too much. Buffer, especially, should know that she very rarely allowed herself to get behind on paperwork. And she wasn’t now. This was all one big engineering feat to get herself some time alone with ET,  _ without _ going to either of their houses where something forbidden could happen. They were going to talk. Just talk.

On her way back up the hall, Nav almost ran into the boss exiting his cabin.

“Everything all set, Nav?” he asked as he closed the door behind him.

“Yes, sir. Swain and ET are rostered on watch tonight; I was just going to check on them before heading out myself.”

He nodded. “Have a nice shore leave, Nav.”

“You too, sir,” she replied, remaining stationary as she watched him leave, hand on the door to the bridge. Kate had been the first one off the ship, off on another date with Captain Jim. Only when she heard the clang of the outer door closing did she press down on the handle under her palm, entering the bridge.

She ensured her footsteps were silent on the stairs, wanting to see what was going on before they noticed her. Swain was sitting in the captain’s chair, watching the silent shoreline, as befitted the Officer of the Watch. ET, however, was sitting in her chair, thoroughly engrossed in a magazine. Smothering a smile, she soundlessly made her way up behind him, putting a finger to her lips when Swain turned to see her.

“What are you doing in my chair?” she said in her most ‘officer’ voice when she was right behind him. Then both she and Swain laughed out loud when he shot to his feet and almost threw the magazine in her face.

Swain smirked at him. “You’re supposed to pay attention when on watch, you know.”

Still spluttering, ET narrowed his eyes at Swain. “You saw her, didn’t you? And you didn’t warn me?”

“Like he said, you’re supposed to be paying attention,” Nav broke in, relaxing her tone. “Not catching up on the latest Diving Monthly.”

Turning over the magazine, ET look at the cover, then back at her, confusion evident in his eyes. “How did you see that? You couldn’t possibly have seen the cover.”

She smirked, leaning on the back of her chair. “I didn’t see the cover. I know you only read that and the sports news.”

Swain chuckled. “She knows you, mate.”

ET opened his mouth to retort, then thought better of it, and changed the subject. “What are you doing up here? Thought you had the night off, with everyone else?” She could hear the accusation in his words, and felt a twinge of guilt. He had obviously noticed that she was scheduling them on opposite watches and leave, and he knew it was on purpose. From the look on Swain’s face, he had come to the same conclusion.

“Came up to check on you, and a good thing I did, slacker.” She allowed amusement to colour her tone, poking ET in the shoulder.

“Have any plans for shore leave, Nav?” Swain asked, and she could hear the sadness in his voice. He hated being on watch when they were in home port, when his family were so close by, and he couldn’t see them.

“Nothing special. What about you, how are Sally and Chloe?”

He smiled, as he always did when thinking about his daughter. “Chloe is almost crawling, Sally says she’s pulling herself up onto her hands and knees, hasn’t quite gotten to moving just yet.”

She found herself reflecting the grin, despite the twist in her stomach for putting him through this. “Hey, so why don’t I swap with you? Go home to your girls.”

“What, really?”

She shrugged. “Sure, I have nothing to do tonight, and you have a family you want to see.”

He looked at her suspiciously, glanced at ET, and then back to her face.

“I’m sure,” she answered the unspoken question, putting a hand on his arm.

An annoyed expression crossed his face. “You could have just rostered yourself on; didn’t have to pull this whole switch.” He didn’t wait for an answer, just handed her the binoculars and left the bridge in a huff.

She watched him go, making a mental note to apologise when shore leave was over. He was right, she should have just rostered herself on, instead of trying to avoid suspicion - by trying so hard she may well have aroused it anyway.

A hand on her shoulder pulled her attention back to the other occupant of the bridge. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you? Why?”

“We needed to talk,” she answered, climbing into the vacant captain’s chair and setting the binoculars down next to her.

He rolled his eyes, settling back on her chair; and because she was watching him, she noticed how he inhaled as he pressed his head back against the headrest. A fond smile came over her face before she could stop it - then she remembered that they were alone and she didn’t have to.

“Your Italian is terrible, by the way,” she said by way of an opening.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he looked up at her sheepishly. “That was actually Google Translate. I’ve only learned some simple phrases.”

She chuckled. “I figured as much. Still, thank you, it means a lot.”

“I meant every word.” Those amazing blue eyes stared at her,  _ through  _ her, until she felt consumed by the intensity of his gaze and had to look away.

She took a few deep breaths as she looked over the quiet port, then turned back to face his thankfully less-intense gaze.

“Can you come down here, so I don’t have to crane my neck?” he asked.

“It’s one step, hardly required craning,” she retorted, but acquiesced and stepped down to sit right behind him, in the chair for the EOD. His eyes followed her movement, and he changed his posture to sit sideways so he could look at her face when she sat down.

“Hi.” He smiled gently at her.

“Hi.” She smiled back, very aware of how close his face - and his lips - were.

“So I think I’ve proven that I can be subtle.” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she smirked.

“Swain called you out on the recipe thing, and RO spent half the afternoon yesterday complaining about the paper you left all over your cabin.” She placed a hand over his on the back of the chair, squeezing gently. “It was adorable and sweet. But it wasn’t subtle.”

He grinned cheekily at her. “So you want me to stop?” His voice was confident, charming; he was in his element now.

“Never stop,” she breathed, tangling their fingers together. He held her gaze for a moment, and she tried to show him everything she couldn’t say out loud, how much his efforts meant to her, how much  _ he  _ meant to her.

He put a finger to his lips, as if thinking hard. “Hmm... maybe you should check your cap, then.”

“Check it?” A slow grin spread across her face. “What did you do, drop something into it when you ‘brushed past’ me in the corridor earlier?”

The cheeky grin was back once more as he shrugged. “You tell me.”

She pulled the cap away from the pocket where it hung while she was inside, and brought it onto her lap. There was nothing inside it, so she ran her fingers over it, trying to figure out what was different. It looked more scuffed than she remembered - since she didn’t go on boarding parties, her cap tended to stay more pristine than most. Then she smelled him, and it clicked.

“How did you even  _ do _ that?” she asked, eyes flying to his.

“Oh?” He tilted his head. “Didn’t you notice me doing it?” There was now a self-satisfied smirk on his face; he was entirely too proud of himself.

There was moisture under her fingers, so she commented, “It’s sweaty.”

He smirked and held out a hand. “Then give it back.”

Instinctively, she shied away from the hand, holding the cap close to her chest. She shook her head firmly. This was a reminder of his affections, that she could touch any time, that she could wear in front of the crew. She could not give it back.

All of a sudden, it was too much. She stood and moved to the front of the bridge, away from him, crushing the hat between her fingers. “You always do this.” The words came out sharper than she had intended, but she continued, knowing she had to get this off her chest before she either kissed him or slapped him; it could have gone either way. “You make me think you care, you make  _ me _ care, and then you do something that makes it impossible for us to be together.”

“I do care! More than I’ve ever…” He trailed off, and she could feel his eyes on her back, knew he was willing her to turn around, but she couldn’t risk drowning in those blue eyes again.

“Then why do you keep sabotaging us? Why did you come back on Hammersley?” The questions were barely above a whisper, but the silence on the bridge allowed him to hear. It was something she had been wanting to ask for months, ever since he had looked at her with such pain when she accused him of choosing his friends over her; she knew there was a deeper story, but hadn’t wanted to hear it at the time.

“It wasn’t sabotage!” There was something different in his voice now, something she couldn’t quite place. She turned around, saw that he was visibly distraught.

“Then what was it?” Soft, gentle, encouraging him to explain.

“I couldn’t handle it!” He shot to his feet and began pacing, and the ferocity in the movement surprised her; this was obviously something he’d been hiding for a while. “I’m sorry, Nikki, God, I’m so sorry. I tried. I swear, I tried so hard, but I couldn’t do it. Have you ever been on a submarine?”

Though he paused, as if waiting for an answer, she couldn’t respond. Now she saw the shame in the slump of his shoulders, the anger in the set of his jaw. He wouldn’t look at her, and she suddenly understood how he must have felt those first days on Hammersley, when she had done the same.

“I knew it would be tight, but I thought it would be like a cramped ship where you couldn’t go on deck. I figured it would just be like diving, that I could handle the confinement because I could see the sea all around me. But it was so much worse. It was like living in a tin coffin under the sea and there was no air.” His voice was strangled and he shook his head, staring at the floor. 

Every fibre of her being wanted to go to him, hold him and reassure him; her hands fisted with the effort of staying still. She could see that his control was hanging on by a thread and knew that her touch would snap it.

“I felt like I was drowning, all the time. I could not  _ breathe _ down there. And once I started having panic attacks, the CO ordered a transfer.” He stopped pacing and slumped sideways back into her chair, looking utterly defeated as he dropped his head into his hands. “Marshall suggested Hammersley, and I was so relieved to be  _ out _ of there, when he said it… I just thought of you, about how much I wanted to see you, and I said yes before I even…. I just didn’t think properly, and then it was too late to take it back.”

Before she realised what she was doing, her feet had taken her to him, and she was gazing down at his blonde curls. To say she was surprised would be an understatement; she was astonished at the revelations he had just made. She had always prided herself on being observant, being able to see what people didn’t realise they were showing. But now guilt twisted in her stomach as she realised she had been trying so hard to act professional and not pay too much attention to him that she’d missed this internal turmoil.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, but he still wouldn’t look at her.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered once more, as she put a finger on his chin and tilted his head up. His eyes were huge and vivid blue, shining with anger, when they finally met hers. He was furious at himself for failing.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She tried to reassure him with her voice and her gaze.

He just shook his head and moved his eyes away from hers, even as she cupped his chin in a palm. She watched him stare determinedly past her, could practically feel the shame radiating from his posture. Now she understood, and it made her want to take back every glare, every cold shoulder she’d given him over the past few months. He’d chosen to effectively kill their relationship for the sake of his own sanity; and he’d been beating himself up over the failure ever since.

With a sigh, she took a step closer, pressing his head against her chest, over her collarbone. In the quiet of the bridge, she knew he would hear her heartbeat, and hoped it would calm him down. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him tightly. His arms came up around her waist immediately, gripping as if he was drowning and she was his lifeline. Which, she realised with a start, he had been.

Slowly, the tension eased out of his shoulders, and she eased her grip. One hand moved up to card through his blonde curls, as she allowed herself to show him some of the affection they were both craving. He finally lifted his head to meet her gaze; she was relieved to see that some of the anger was gone.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, most people can’t stand the subs” She spoke before he could continue apologising. “That’s why they make such a big deal about the dolphin badge if you do make it. I would much rather you be here, frat regs and all, than going insane on the sub.” She smiled fondly at him and felt his hands tracing circles on her waist.

This time, when his gaze intensified, she responded in kind, allowing herself to show the feelings she had been so carefully hiding over the past few months. Her fingers stilled in his hair, cradling his neck.

A sudden chime filled the air, causing the two of them to instinctively pull apart. Nav felt the buzz of her phone against her leg, and dug it out of her pocket.

It was a text from Kate:  _ He’s on his phone again. _

Nav chuckled as she responded,  _ Should have stuck with the accountant. _ She stowed her phone back in her pocket, and answered ET’s querying look. “From X; she’s on a date.”

He didn’t question further, instead getting to his feet and picking something up from the front of the bridge. “Lost this already? Maybe I should keep it then.”

When he turned, she saw that he had a cap in his hands; her hand flew to her side, and she realised it was the one he had given her earlier. “That’s mine, give it back.”

The cheeky grin was back, and she couldn’t help but mirror it. “Make me.”

Recognising the game, she moved toward him and reached out for the cap. He allowed himself to be backed up against the radar screen, holding the cap behind his back so she had to reach around him. Since her arms were shorter than his, she had to press her body right against his before she could grasp her prize, and maybe she pressed slightly harder than absolutely necessary. For a few seconds, she remained still, enjoying the feel of his body against hers. His eyes heated, and she allowed her smile to become flirtatious. Then she pressed a thigh against his to gain the leverage to pull the cap out of his hand.

The minute she had the cap, she fastened it back onto her overalls, but kept her body where it was. “Thank you. I love it.”

His eyes widened slightly at her use of the word ‘love’, and for a split second she wished she hadn’t; then the moment passed, and she remembered he had used it first. She could see in his eyes how relieved he was that she liked his gift, but underneath the shame of failure was still there.

With a sigh, she moved away. “Ugh, you are such a  _ guy _ sometimes!”

“Excuse me, I’m  _ always _ a man. Do you want me to prove it to you?” Once again, he slipped back into suave mode.

She smirked, leaning against her chair. “Oh, I can see it from here.”

He looked down. “Yep, definitely a man.”

“And such a  _ fine _ specimen, too.” She tilted her head, openly enjoying the view. Not for the first time, Nav was glad her own arousal wasn’t so obvious. Ten months was a long time to be celibate; the slightest thing set her off these days. And apparently him as well. She couldn’t help but giggle at the frustration on his face.

“How are you completely fine?” He was practically whining, which only caused her to grin wider.

“Maybe I’m just less driven by base desires,” she responded, contemplated sticking her tongue out at him, decided it was too juvenile - then did it anyway. And licked her lips as she pulled it back in, watching his eyes follow the movement.

“Fuck, why did you send Swain home?” His eyes bored into hers, a deeper blue than they had been an hour ago.

Knowing her own eyes were similarly dark, she let her gaze roam over his body the way her fingers itched to. “This is exactly why! We have to be able to work together.” She fought to keep her voice steady, but knew he could hear the hitch.

“We can be professional?” It came out like a question, causing her to chuckle. Sure, they could be professional - as long as they weren’t left alone together.

In the brief moment she was distracted by laughing, he moved closer, until the tips of his boots touched hers. When she breathed in, the fabric of her overalls brushed his chest, and she couldn’t hide the flush of her cheeks.

“So professional,” she managed to squeak out, before his palms cupped her cheeks and she melted into his touch, eyes fluttering closed. She was expecting a kiss, would have surrendered despite their surroundings, the feel of his calloused fingertips against her skin overriding everything.

Instead, he tilted his head to her ear and whispered, “Glad to see I’m not the only one who has trouble with professionalism.” With a kiss on her earlobe, he released her and backed away, until he was sitting in her chair once more.

She looked away, out over the bay, trying to get herself under control. As she concentrated on regulating her breathing and slowing her rapid heartbeat, she realised that there was a raging storm outside; they had been so focused on one another they hadn’t even realised.

“Some watch,” she murmured, shaking her head.

“It’s really coming down out there,” ET said a second later, causing her to turn her attention back to him.

“And we were too busy staring at one another to even notice,” she finished, raising an eyebrow at him. To his credit, he looked somewhat bashful, but completely unapologetic.

“You know, you’re not that subtle, either. The day I came back, anyone could have seen something was upsetting you.  _ Spider _ asked Bomber what he’d done to annoy you.” She gaped at him, and he nodded. “Oh yeah. Even tonight, Swain knew exactly what you were up to. I know he’s unnaturally observant and already knew what was going on, but you can’t expect the X or the boss to not pick up on it eventually.”

“Trying too hard is making it look more suspicious,” she concluded, half to herself.

“Yes. So relax a bit. And stop avoiding me.” His eyes twinkled. “I promise I’ll be good.”

She snorted. “If only you knew the meaning of the word.”

 


End file.
